Welcome To The Crossroads
WHO WE ARE
Soul Exchange Authority
Founded shortly after the fall of Lucifer and the creation of free will. The Soul Exchange Authority was established to bring structure, consistency and proper filing systems to the chaotic world of eternal damnation.
Head Office
HOW IT WORKS
So you want to be a rockstar but can’t find a regulated crossroads?
Have you been practicing your pact pose in the mirror, waiting for a mysterious stranger in a velvet cloak to appear but all you’ve met are dodgy blokes with bad breath?
At The Soul Exchange Authority, we specialise in legitimised damnation and professionally managed soul trading.
We’re Hells official bureau for mortals who want to make a deal. Safely, stylishly and with full afterlife transparency.
No shady back alley summoning circles. No hand scribbled contracts in blood. Just clean paperwork, swift processing and an infernal support team who genuinely care about your descent into fame, fortune & eternal fire.
Whether you’re selling your soul for talent, success, beauty, vengeance or simply because you’re bored, our administrative demons are here to guide you through every fiery step of the process.
UPCOMING EVENTS
NOVEMBER
Nov 6 – Bring your mortal to work day
Details:
Staff are encouraged to bring one living human to experience a typical day in the afterlife. Protective goggles and earplugs required.
Notes: HR reminds everyone not to “accidentally” recruit family members again.
Nov 13 – The 666th staff party
Details:
Entertainment will be provided by live screaming karaoke, and the popular Guess whose soul this is? game.
Catering will not be provided but blood orange cocktails will be available at the bar.
Dress Code: Black tie, black heart.
DECEMBER
Dec 1–24 – The Helliday Advent of Torment
Details:
Each day, a random department opens a new door of despair revealing surprise punishments, prizes or motivational screams.
Grand Prize:
A week off suffering (redeemable in Purgatory only).
Dec 25 – Santas contract review day
Details:
Annual renegotiation of Santa’s 364 day, soul extension.
Chair: Malcolm Malfeas – Chief Compliance Fiend
Agenda:
Clause 12: Reindeer maintenance
Claus 13: Naughty list privacy violations
Claus 14: Conversion to eternal labour