Welcome To The Soul Exchange Authority
The Only Crossroads You Should Ever Trust.
The old crossroads are done, this is the modern, regulated replacement. Forget going out at midnight and whispering into the void and you can forget about waiting at a muddy crossroads all night for a demon that is definitely running late.
The old methods are outdated, unregulated and responsible for more missing souls, broken deals and afterlife mishaps than we care to count. Other crossroads are simply a disaster. Do you really want:
- Unlicensed demons?
- Contracts scribbled on leaves?
- Deals that vanish at sunrise?
- Spirits moonlighting without HR approval?
- Zero accountability?
- Chaotic energy fields that void the fine print?
- Worst of all: absolutely NO customer service?
The old ways weren’t mysterious, they were just badly managed!
We are The Soul Exchange Authority.
The ONLY certified, regulated and metaphysically stabilised crossroads left in existence. We are the first and only crossroads backed by:
- Certified Infernal Administrators
- Legally binding soul transfer protocols
- Stamped contracts with encrypted metaphysical seals
- Licensed demons who follow HR guidelines (sort of)
- Damnation packages built with transparency and flair
- A digital, metaphysical hybrid system that can’t be tricked, hacked or bypassed
- 24/7/eternity afterlife support
- Guaranteed traceability of every soul exchanged
No more guessing who you’re dealing with, no more chalk circles and no more hoping the entity who shows up isn’t just a cheeky devil wearing someone else’s horns.
At The SEA, your soul is:
- Logged
- Verified
- Indexed
- Sanctified (if required)
You want power? Fame? Fortune? Forbidden knowledge?
Great. We can arrange all that but we do it with contracts, seals, structure and beautiful memorabilia.
This is the modern crossroads.
The only one still open for business and the only one that won’t leave you spiritually bankrupt.
Welcome to the Soul Exchange Authority, take a seat. We’ll process your damnation shortly.
HOW IT WORKS
So you want to be a rockstar but can’t find a regulated crossroads?
Have you been practicing your pact pose in the mirror, waiting for a mysterious stranger in a velvet cloak to appear but all you’ve met are dodgy blokes with bad breath?
At The Soul Exchange Authority, we specialise in legitimised damnation and professionally managed soul trading.
We’re Hells official bureau for mortals who want to make a deal. Safely, stylishly and with full afterlife transparency.
No shady back alley summoning circles. No hand scribbled contracts in blood. Just clean paperwork, swift processing and an infernal support team who genuinely care about your descent into fame, fortune & eternal fire.
Whether you’re selling your soul for talent, success, beauty, vengeance or simply because you’re bored, our administrative demons are here to guide you through every fiery step of the process.
The Demons Doing The Paperwork
Soul Exchange Authority
Founded shortly after the fall of Lucifer and the creation of free will. The Soul Exchange Authority was established to bring structure, consistency and proper filing systems to the chaotic world of eternal damnation.
Head Office
The End is Nigh! Newsletter
Upcoming Events
DECEMBER
Dec 1–24 – The Helliday Advent of Torment
Details:
Each day, a random department opens a new door of despair revealing surprise punishments, prizes or motivational screams.
Grand Prize:
A week off suffering (redeemable in Purgatory only).
Dec 25 – Santa’s contract review day
Details:
Annual renegotiation of Santa’s 364 day, soul extension.
Chair: Malcolm Malfeas – Chief Compliance Fiend
Agenda:
Clause 12: Reindeer maintenance
Claus 13: Naughty list privacy violations
Claus 14: Conversion to eternal labour