Welcome To The Crossroads

Privacy Policy

Welcome to the Soul Exchange Authority. A proud division of Infernal holdings group Ltd (Hell). By using our website, signing over your soul or making any form of eye contact with our agents, you consent to the following delightfully one sided terms.

 

     1.Information We Collect

We collect your name, email address, soul identification signature, desires and occasional whimpers of regret.

Additional data may include:

  • Browser cookies (and sometimes actual cookies if you leave them unattended)
  • Your declared moral weaknesses
  • Unintentional psychic leakage during form submission

We promise never to sell your information… Unless it’s funny or profitable.

 

     2.How We Use Your Information

Your data may be used for:

  • Generating official Soul Exchange certificates
  • Summoning customer service demons (response time: 3–5 eternities)
  • Internal cackling, administrative purposes and midnight chanting
  • Sending marketing emails you’ll swear you never subscribed to
  • Ritualistic improvement of user experience (in a spiritual sense)

 

     3.Payment and Transaction Data

All payments are securely processed through mortal world services like Stripe or PayPal.

We don’t store your card details, we store your essence.

 

     4.Data Sharing

We only share your information with:

  • Hellfire Resources (HR) for employee training
  • The Infernal Accounting Department for tax purposes (we call it soul depreciation)
  • The occasional third party demon bound by strict non disclosure and even stricter chains

We never share with Heaven, because they never return the favour.

 

     5.Cookies & Tracking

This site uses cookies. Not the delicious kind. The digital kind that follow you everywhere and whisper your browsing habits into the void. By continuing to browse, you agree to be mildly haunted by targeted ads for Hell scented candles.

 

     6.Your Rights

Under the Infernal Data Protection Act (IDPA 666), you have the right to:

  • Request access to your personal (and/or eternal) data
  • Request deletion (may require divine approval, good luck)
  • Opt out of marketing emails (we’ll pretend to remove you)
  • Argue with Karen from the Abyss about unfair data retention policies

 

     7.Data Retention

We keep your data for as long as it’s funny, useful or profitable, whichever lasts longest. Your information may be archived in the Library of Eternal Regret, securely protected by fire, despair and outdated antivirus software.

 

     8.Changes to This Policy

We reserve the right to update, amend or rewrite this Privacy Policy in blood at any time. You will not be notified because surprises are half the fun.

 

     9.Contact Us

For all privacy concerns, ritual appeals or general screaming contact:

Department of compliance & mild terror

Soul Exchange Authority

Email: privacy@soulexchangeauthority.com

Phone: (666) HOLD

Please allow 3–5 eternities for a response.

 

Final Note

By visiting our site, you agree that your data, your actions and possibly your soul are now under the administrative gaze of the Soul Exchange Authority.

We promise to misuse this power responsibly.

Your privacy matters… To someone, somewhere, probably.

Soul Exchange Authority Privacy Policy

Last updated: The moment you clicked I Agree.

I had a few questions about the terms of eternal torment. The staff were patient, informative and only possessed me twice during the call. Great experience!
Gregory
Canada
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